Let It Burn

There are lots of moments when you're a Momma that squeeze your heart. Tug at your soul. Fill your cup. 

But few drop you dead in your tracks the way it does to watch your son become the man you fell in love with.

I remember when Bob was a toddler. Those first trips down to the shop with dad. Brad hasn't ever walked in a straight line. He weaves and veers, all the while twirling his hair. I can almost see the cogs turning in his mind.

And every step, Bob weaving and veering in the very track Brad was walking, pulling at his hair with his tiny baby fingers.

If you ever doubt the impact you have on your children, take a hard look at the people they're becoming. Its' from watching you. 

Yesterday, I called Brad to check on his plans for the night before I started dinner. He was on speaker phone and I could hear Bobby in the background,

"Mom! Hey, Mom! I'm ripping all by myself!"

We switched over to facetime and sure enough, Bobby was in the driver's seat while Brad road shotgun in the buddy seat (frantically reaching around Bob, flipping switches, pushing buttons, etc. to keep things going--I have no idea what for, really).

The pride in that boy's voice. Literally. He literally picked up a grown up man swagger because he was so proud to do the work his dad does every day. 

When he came home that night, he talked (with that same swagger) for hours about the rippin' he had to do the next day, about the ground he worked, about working with Dad.

Man, it's so bittersweet to watch them grow. 

I'm not ready for him to be the farmhand. He's my little shadow. He still shouts out, "Love you, mom!", blows kisses, and waves frantically as they pull away, and someday he'll be reticent to do that. And I'll cry all the momma tears.

But it's a gift to know they love this life as much as we do.