My Daughter Sucks at Reading

Hold the phonetics!? My daughter SUCKS at reading.

Even worse!? She doesn't like it! Welp. Shitty parent alert, right? Wrong.

Today,  I was talking with a friend about Piper's "back to school" happenings and she asked me,  "does she suck at reading?" At first,  I thought,  "Oh God,  I can't say that! What mom says that!?" But then I thought, "well she does".

What's so wrong with her not being good at and not liking reading?

This same friend said to me, (like you'd say,  pass the salt) "*__Insert her daughters name__* sucks at reading too. When we went to open house her teacher told her,  'We're going to do so much reading this year!' and *__insert daughters name here__*'s face just fell. She was so bummed. "

What a revelation. 

I think some people have this idea that part of your success as a parent is wrapped up in the academic achievement of your child.

All summer I had this guilt in the back of my head because I'd see parents posting about the 372 books their kids read-- during the summer??

I think Pipe begrudgingly read the back of the cereal box as a favor to Parker.

Piper is an awesome kid. And I don't say that to brag. She's got flaws (I can reference a few other posts if you need evidence), but in general, she tries her best and she's kind. And as a parent I don't know how I could ask for much more. 

It's become so predictable. Every year, day 1 or 2, I get a folded note home in an envelope with "To Pipers Parents" written on it, from school telling me that Piper is "at risk" due to her performance on standardized grade level scoring (and you know that's gospel, right) and she needs extra help in school (no more than 20 minutes a day though, never fear), in the hopes of giving her the "jump start" she needs to meet "grade level scoring expectations".

I'm just curious when THEY'RE going to start meeting my expectations. I'll keep you posted.

More shocking parental behavior alert: I don't CARE if she's good at, or gasp, doesn't like reading! Yes, I know all the studies that point to her doomed-ness if she doesn't read. I know it opens doors to opportunities and knowledge, and maybe one day she'll find a topic or an author that opens that world up to her and she won't be able to get enough. But I can promise you, it won't ever be a standardized score telling me that she's happy or successful. 

One year, Piper LOVED her teacher. I was so glad, but I did not feel the same. She told me,  Piper is easily distracted,  doesn't focus,  has a hard time staying on task...

Concerned, as most parents would be,  we went through several visits at the University of Iowa pediatric behavioral psychology department over a 6 month time period (long waiting lists). I'm talking 3-4 hour long evaluations.

In the meantime, her teacher, waving off the need for extensive testing,  but clearly still insinuating we need to do something, asks me if she has seizures, because maybe that's why she zones out.  Or if we've ever tried giving her Advocare Spark (she heard that helps)? Or maybe that I should buy her a buzz watch that'll vibrate every 15 minutes like a shock collar to remind her to pay attention (and Piper is the one who is easily distracted?).

Do you want to know what we found out from the professional psychologist?: Piper's young for her class. I know. I was shocked too.

And here's another shocker. She doesn't like academics. They'd protest when I told them this. "She's always happy! She's always smiling! Everyone likes her!" Don't mistake me. She likes school. NOT academics. It does not interest her.

I will always encourage her. I will always tell her that education is important,  to always work hard, pay attention, and try her best. But I will never push her to be someone she's not. And I won't join in when anyone tries to make her feel like less or tries to change her because she doesn't check the right box on a standardized scoring test. In fact,  I'll strongly defend her from it. You can bet your ass I'm one of those moms.

She's Piper. And she sucks at reading. But she rocks at being herself and I'm damn proud of her for it.

PS. Thanks above referenced friend for asking me if she sucks at reading! What an inspiration! ❤