Excellent Condition; Like New; Never Worn

I'm always in awe,  and if I'm honest,  confuddled (it's my own special blend of confused and befuddled), when I see moms post descriptions such as these when placing items for sale on social media. Not one single item or article of clothing has EVER made it through our house unscathed.

New box of crayons? Broken,  crunched,  lost and tossed in the garbage within hours of making it home (days if they forget we have them).

Toy tool bench for sale--Comes with zero screws and no attachments. Unless I find any of them in the once in a lifetime move to the farm we're undertaking. In which case I'll have every intention of passing it on to you-- but never will.

New under armour tee. Lipstick, nail polish, and chocolate stains are likely permanent. Mostly because, well,  it's lipstick and nail polish,  but also because the shirt was shoved back into the drawer because my child knows my fury when she changes her clothes multiple times a day,  so she does it behind my back, and aforementioned shirt goes undiscovered for undetermined amount of days (or weeks). But you're welcome to try.

Several baby dolls. Include creative makeup in an assortment of ink,  marker,  and,  well, actual makeup. Also bald in patches. Also due to creative license with scissors (safety scissors-- give me credit!)

Doll house? Furniture not included because it's made of wood and currently collecting mold in our bathtub. Unless you're up for that challenge as well. Also there is a hole in the rear of the dollhouse for reasons I don't want to ponder too deeply. 

2 baby doll strollers. Like new. Except the fabric is torn and a wheel is missing from my children sitting in them and racing around the living room in them.

40 mint condition tractors (minus assorted wheels, steering columns,  mirrors,  augers, etc.)

Barbie car. Missing a door and bent rearview mirror. Bonus though. We'll throw in another in the exact same condition!

Bluetooth capable kids toy piano. The batteries went dead long ago and haven't been changed because I couldn't find the Phillips screwdriver. Last I saw, it was being used for a microphone,  but has been MIA long after the encore finished. Also, the screws to said battery casing are warped.  You saw that it was bluetooth capable though, right?

18,000 books,  all spilled on, missing pages,  colored on, bent, or ripped, which I can't bring myself to discard,  because I'm pretty sure good moms don't throw out books, right? There's the outreach you say!? How wonderful! Let me load that up and ride around with it in my car for 2 months,  moving it over and around every trip for other various necessities but just never dropping it off. 

The memories though? Mint condition,  like new,  and worn over and over with love.  Like our stuff,  I could never put a price on them-- although for different reasons 🧐.